Monday, January 31, 2011

Re-use your bottles!

Okay, something every home-brewer should utilize is their ability to drink heavily. When brewing beer it is important to have bottles, otherwise you will have to drink non-carbonated beer out of glasses, and that's just a waste of time and money... unless you enjoy beer-wine...

Either way, just follow this simple and probably obvious tip. Save your bottles. All except the twist off bottles, because most home bottling kits only come with pry off cappers.

Now, if you want to remove the labels off the beer easily, then you are screwed. For the most part it is a painful and tedious task that will make your hands soggy.

BUT if you want lots of bottles and don't care what you drink, I recommend buying European beers, like Paulaner or Kostritzer. They use a more easily removable glue and just allowing the bottles to soak will remove them.

The best way I have figured out to remove labels is to soak the bottles in a mixture of hot water and soap or baking soda. This will loosen the labels but work is still necessary with a scrubber of some sort.

In the end it is up to you, spend money on new bottles or create your own through hours of intoxicating fun!

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Adventures in Beerland

I once encountered an Ostrich who claimed to be king of all ostriches. I doubted him so I asked, "If you are king, then where is your crown?" 

He then proceeded to pull a crown out but could not since he had no thumbs. With the flick of his head (and a mighty flick it was) a group of possessed meerkats in robes appeared and pulled his crown out from under his wing. They then placed it on his head, and the sight was magnificent!

Meerkat Follower
Never before had I seen such a powerful looking (and angry) ostrich!

The King of all Ostriches
The king spoke,"Do you believe me now human peasant?!" so I returned,"Yes your majesty! Allow me to create you a stein fit for royalty!"

He responded,"Very well, but if it does not fit my description of perfection, then consider yourself dead!"

After hours of work I presented him with the stein, which was later fittingly named the Stein of Power. After a few moments of looking at the stein which lay at his feet he bellowed,"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! I cannot open the stein without thumbs! Obviously, human peasant, this stein is not perfect."

The Kings hate filled look of disgust
I hauled ass and managed to escape just in time to see a giant explosion and chunks of ostrich all over the road behind me.

Little did the Ostrich King know, I planted C4 inside the stein. 

That is the story of how I became known as...

Slayer of the Ostrich King

V.S.

Ales - Top fermenting at higher temps, fruity and strong flavored, fast fermentation
Lagers - Bottom fermenting at lower temps, clean and crisp, slow fermentation

Ales are considered top fermenting because the actual fermentation occurs through the wort and at the top of the tank. This occurs at higher temperatures (somewhere around 70 degrees) and results with more fruity, and flavorful beers. When transferring or bottling you will notice that the yeast and sludge is easily mixed with the beer and  somewhat irritating. 

Some examples of ales are: stouts, IPA's, Porters etc. (and obviously any with the word ale in their name)

Lagers are bottom fermenting and actually ferment at lower temperatures, between 45 and 58 give or take a few. They take longer to ferment and condition... reason being is that the cold conditioning actually clarifies and cleans the lager. The resulting flavor is a crisp and refreshing brew like many lagers you have possibly tasted. When transferring or bottling, you will notice less random particles floating around and more of a yeast cake with little holes in it on the bottom of the tank. 

Some examples of lagers are: pilsners, bocks, schwarzbiers etc.

Unless the ability to cold condition is available, lagering may be a technique you want to wait on. Always start out brewing with ales, because they take less to complete.

It is up to you to decide which you favor more, but if you prefer the wrong one there will be dire consequences. You see, every time a new beer is born an angel gets its wings; However the god of beer decided one day to completely muck that rule up and have a beer of the day, and if an ale is created on a lager day... well  obviously the angel loses its wings and becomes a soul-eating demon. Weird huh? I guess it is to keep us on our toes. Super amazing brewers are known to have the Third Eye, which shows them which to brew on its specific day, which is why Stu and I only give angels wings. True story.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

The World

A strong desire of mine has been to travel the planet and visit all the amazing places and learn their secrets. The birthplaces of great human beings, and of great stories and arts. I wish to see how to world unfolded, where everything began. Knowledge is power and experiences supply knowledge. Wisdom comes from knowledge... you see where this is heading? The ultimate goal is peace and understanding.

And to make this relevant to the blog, I would like to try all the beer I can get my hands on, especially where it is created!  Nobody said we couldn't have a little fun along the path to enlightenment... or maybe someone did, but that's a rule I am willing to turn a blind eye to.

Of course this is but one of many desires. My list is far too long to type out. I should probably get started marking things off!

    Stay awake for an entire lunar eclipse.
    Travel the world.
    Read all the great classics.
    Write a novel.
Wake up this morning.
    Attend the Cherry Blossom Festival in Japan.
    Visit the worlds most amazing ruins.
    Discover Immorality.
    Become a martial arts master.
Eat Balut

And the list goes on and on...

Friday, January 28, 2011

New reviews


5 Vegas Triple-A
Full
Espresso, Oak, Leather

The first taste I noticed from this beauty was coffee. It was an almost overwhelming taste of espresso, followed by a bit of leather. A seriously complex and heavy cigar, but very nice. After I almost finished this one, I blew hot smoke right into my left eye. Felt great! Nothing like a swollen eyeball and slightly burned cheek.


Murcielago Belicosa
Medium to Full
Chocolate and Earthy tobacco

This was another cigar I found to be quite delicious. The cigar itself was impressive looking and box pressed. The cigar was relatively medium bodied until the last few puffs, so consistency was a plus. The flavors were a good mixture of earthy tobacco and dark chocolate. A really great cool weather cigar.


Man O' War Virtue
Medium
Tobacco, cashews, cedar

The Man O' War virtue was a great cigar. The feel was nice a silky and it burned evenly all night. The aroma was a strange one, almost like a very mild potpourri. It was a very nutty cigar, and quite enjoyable.

My Co-brew-master, and business partner in crime

Stu, the other guy, who as well enjoys a nice tall drink and long smoke is now writing as well on Suds and Smokes. He is the other genius behind our masterfully complex and EXTREMELY ARTFULLY CRAFTED beers. Actually they aren't too bad...

Check out his first post.

Seperate we are but men.

Working together we are a bad ass ARMY.

 So watch out.


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V

The Fundamentals

Alright, where to begin. It always seems to be the most difficult part... starting out, beginning, introductions, whatever you want to call it. Ian asked me if I was interested in co-writing a blog on cigars and beer and, well, how was I going to say no? They're both immensely interesting, tasty and slightly inebriating. Beer is one of the oldest historical alcoholic beverages, next to brandy and like all things (except humans; I refuse to accept I evolved from a monkey... they anger me) it has evolved. It's evolution has been a product of mistakes, calculated experimentation, devout monks and nuns, the Age of Discovery, necessity and wealth. It has been the product of national pride and uncompromising rebellion in times of war (which I will discuss in more depth in another post). It has served as the very base of grassroots politics and intelligent discourse on everything from art and travel to picking up an unexpreting, but not unassuming girl at the bar. In my own young experience, it has been the appetizer to many great people. Beer, tobacco (and in my personal case, wine and spirits) have been their own introduction. They have been the words, "Once upon a time..." and "Hi, my name is...". With that I will make you a promise. I will not be pompous and snobby. Beer and tobacco is meant to be enjoyed and everyone has they're own tastes. That colorful difference is part of the mystery and interest of beer and tobacco. Their purpose is to be enjoyed, with company or deep thought. It's easy to make something more complicated when we love it. That is the eternal struggle: to keep things pure and innocent in a far from innocent endeavor, at times. I ask you to keep me in check and to have good, honest discourse.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

So far...

As per request I am going to supply a list of home-brews that we have already completed from first to most recent.


  1. Black Ale - simple yet way too over malted
  2. Pale Ale - perfectly constructed to give the most amazing flavor consistency we ever tasted in a home-brew!... (even though it was only our second)
  3. Kvass - a complete failure, the only word to describe this was... idiotic. Check previous posts to read about the incident.
  4. Brown, Hefeweizen blend - save open top fermentation for the country.
  5. Berliner-Weiss - Nice sour wheat. I only enjoyed the flavor once I realized it was SUPPOSED to be sour.
  6. Malt Liquor - Just our goofy name for what turned out to be a bad ass Belgian brown style, if not something even more amazing than a simple Belgian brown...
  7. The three Pilsners - Three pilsners we have brewed using unique combinations of hops and yeast. We will see what the result is....!
As far as I can remember that is it. If I forgot anything I will list it later.

There are many more to be born, I just need the right incantation... i mean ingredients and time... hmmm...

Kanpai!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Sour Beers

There exists, in a plane of reality not much different from our own, a type of beer called sour beers. These strange  and often repugnant brews have a quality most do not appreciate, which is the immense tartness and sour flavors that are present. Although it is an acquired flavor, there are many sour beers on the market that are flavored with a shit-ton of sugar or fruits.

 Lindemans Framboise is an example of this. This Belgian ale is a blended Lambic (which alone and unflavored is sour) that has raspberries added and blended with different vintages of Lambic to give it a more drinkable aspect.

Other examples of sours on the market are Duchesse de Bourgogne, Monk's Cafe Sour and Petrus Aged Pale.
These three are once again sweetened by some means or another and even still many beer drinkers avoid them.

A while back we brewed a Berliner-Weisse and had no idea what we were actually brewing. Lo and behold it was a German sour wheat. Strange and somewhat funky alone, add a fruit liqueur to it and you have got yourself a nice dessert beer.

The Good the Bad and the Whatever

Smoked some new cigars...

Graycliff Turbo
Medium-Full
Sweet Cedar, Earth
Evolves at nub to full-bodied spice

Probably one of the best cigars I have had to this point. Smoked a good medium body for quite a while, and kept my palette interested long enough to actually smoke it to almost nothing (and this is a fatty-60). As I closed in on the nub, I really started getting tons of spice and rich earthy flavors that made my evening. Great cigar! 


Patel Cargo
Mild-Medium (supposedly)
Tobacco, Earth

Have to say, even though it did not get bad reviews, I really just did not enjoy this stick. It was mild, which is not a bad thing, but pretty much did not evolve while I smoked it. Don't get me wrong... I am still a beginner cigar smoker but I know what tastes worth buying, and this one was too expensive for what I got at around $5.00 a stick. I have had worse, but this ranks in the bottom.



El Mejor Emerald
Medium-Full 
Spices and Tobacco

This was a weird cigar, with its shaggy bottom which was somewhat easier to light than I thought it was going to be. The flavors really were robust, and a bit one sided. I never really got past the cedar taste even though most reviews say you will. Lots of just straight tobacco which is fine considering I only paid $2.00 for this stick. I would say it was worth it, but any more than that is not a deal.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Yeast Starters

A great brewing tip is to always brew when you are completely smashed. It is a ritual that you must learn to follow, or fail all your beers miserably.


If you stray from this ritual, you will begin sweating uncontrollably and growing hop vines from your eyeballs. This is the God of Brewing's way of making you suffer for not fulfilling the ritual. 


Definitely a bad way to go, so just be sure to do that okay? Thanks.


Oh and also, you have to scream at your yeast before pitching it (adding it to the beer). Ya... do that too. Because it needs to be really mad to eat all those sugars up.


Here is another tip, and one that really does improve your beer. 


You may have yeast that comes with an activator pack (that you smack and let grow before pitching) or you may have just a simple packet of dry or liquid yeast. Either way this next step can help you make a nice healthy beer especially if you only have the yeast.


Brewing a yeast starter is a great way to cut back on spending. To brew a five gallon batch, you need at least a couple vials/packets of yeast (or a couple hundred billion yeast cells). The starter basically creates more yeast for you with only one packet.


Start by boiling four ounces of malt (the type needed for your beer) into a quart of water.


After this dissolves and cools, add the mixture to a food grade plastic container or beaker that has been sanitized.


Add the yeast and let sit for at least a day, then you have enough yeast cells to brew a great batch of beer.


TIP: If the yeast is growing up the sides of the container and you see bubbles of fermentation you've got a healthy starter, but don't always expect carbonation bubbles.

Unbeknownst


Drinkin' beer with a panda


Drinking beer with Buddha


Balancing beer with a mountain


Drinkin' with Pele's hair


But seriously, all great times in my life, and i mean no disrespect to any of these fantastic locations!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Gurkha Regent series

Overall a decent smoke, but I realized something about the few box pressed cigars I have had. They all seem to taste like cedar hardcore. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I prefer something less so.

Gurkha Regent
Torpedo
Box Pressed
Medium-Full bodied
I am noticing the flavors in my cigars more and more now, and sticks that I used to think were plain and boring are now becoming more than just one toned.

A Cigar like this one, I would recommend smoking with a lighter beer like a German lager. A heavy beer would probably bring more flavors out of the cigar but could easily be overdoing it.

One rule I now follow is that if it is cold outside, drinking a heavy beer or scotch is fine with a good heavy cigar. If the weather is the opposite, heavy cigars can make you sick, and nobody wants an imperial stout or porter on a hot day anyhow!

Home brewing equipment

Now, if you are interesting in starting your own home-brewery, you will need a basic set of equipment.

Starting at the beginning, you need:

  • 1 three gallon pot to boil your malt and hop concoction.
  • A Ladle to stir
  • Fermentation bucket
  • Airlock
  • Sanitation Solution. I recommend One Step Oxygen based powder.
These items are needed for the first step.

After the fermentation period you will need:
  • 48 bottles
  • Either a spigot on your bucket or a siphon/racking tube.
  • Bottle caps
  • Capping tool
One final tip:
Before everything, sanitize the fermentation bucket, and when ready to bottle, sanitize all bottles and caps.

This will prevent your yeast from cannibalizing causing explosive beers.

For a little extra, you can get a glass carboy, which is great for secondary fermentation.

This Kit provides everything you need to get started, or if you decide you want to order all your pieces of equipment separately, you can.

Beer and Muslim Pirate radios.

Although not completely relevant, I had a strange incident occur last night. After a long day at work I decided to go plug my bass guitar in and jam (something which I have not done in a very long time). I had a few drinks with my buddy ol' pal before this and was feeling relaxed and ready to slappa da bass.

Halfway through plugging in my bass to the amp I hear voices. I at first thought I was hearing voices from beyond; That quite possibly my guitar was possessed by the netherworld. As it turned out, I was picking up some punks pirate radio. All I hear is some kid (college or late high school) complaining about how he is discriminated against for being Muslim.

Immediately after this I hear some very vocal music from that region of the world. Nothing really that strange I guess, but worth mentioning.

In the end, I guess I learned one thing...

Amazing and bizarre things happen when beer and music entwine!!!

Hahaha.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Brew Vault

Once upon a time about a year ago, we brewed a brown ale using Weihenstephaner Hefeweizen yeast. We thought it would be a genius idea to open top ferment. This would make sense if we were a large craft brewery or had a house out in non-polluted nature. Inside an apartment full of bacon grease and pet dander however... this is not a good idea. We used a sanitized cheese cloth to cover it.


Moving along now, we bottled this beer and about two weeks down the road we tasted. It was strange and somewhat funky. We figured it was because of the hefe yeast but about three months later I discovered as I was alone in my office that something had gone super duper wrong.

I heard a bang, like a gunshot and looked around frightened! There was a second bang and a rain of glass shards fell upon me. I looked around distraught and noticed the large brown stain all over the wall. One word went through my head. Sh*t.

I cleaned up as well as I could, then as I was about to sit down again i remembered I had another full case of twenty-four sitting at my feet.

Frantically I ran to the sink with bottle opener in hand and began opening the bottles. They all had a slick foam shoot from them and a few bottle caps shot off like rockets. I had to wear a face shield. My adrenaline was pumping hardcore and I had no idea if any of the bottles were gonna blow in my hands.

It was interesting. I will never open top ferment again. Yet.

Before and after

Before beer:



After beer:


Before beer:


After beer:


Before beer:


After beer:



These photos are proof of the wonders of beer. 

Never hesitate when beer is offered to YOU!




Unconventional but interesting

Oskar Blues, for myself, was one of the first to bring craft beers to the wide world of cans. I was dumbfounded to find a bad ass scotch ale named Old Chub in an aluminum cylinder. Nonetheless it turned out to be a great idea. Now a ton of craft brews are showing up here in Houston that are brewed in cans. I personally love the idea of having the craft can available because it means that I can be more lazy. Open, drink, crush, trash. No more dirty glasses! Which means no more dish mountain in the sink! Which means I can do ANYTHING I WANT! 

The free time I have accumulated by drinking from cans has the potential of being time that I can use to actually be productive! It could make me a better person! It could most definitely give me control of the elements and I could potentially be a GOD among men!! 

Alas, I use this free time to think of all the things I could do instead of actually doing them, but it works for me.

The Oskar Blues cans have a strange circle on the back of each can that has little dots which strongly resemble a metal mesh. I have recently been informed that the cans are altered slightly then used as pipes to smoke, uh of course, tobacco. Seems practical right?
Makes use of the three big R's. After all I am one of the biggest conversationalists around. HAHAHA. Just kidding, but it can't hurt to try I guess.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Tobacco sticks

I am somewhat of a newcomer to the cigar world. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed a cigar or two when celebration was imminent, but never really got into it.

Recently I received a super bad ass desktop humidor as a gift, and just had to fill it.

I bought a ton of supreme cigars and started smoking them to try to grasp what it is all about.
Reading a little Isaac Asimov while smoking a nice cigar is therapeutic to the soul.

I have indulged a bit on a good variety of cigars but am still only a guppy when it comes to cigar knowledge. I enjoy Medium to Full bodied cigars, and am not afraid of a little cigar buzz. So far my two favorite cigars have been the Padilla special release torpedo (silky and rich) and the Graycliff turbo (medium to full as you progress to the nub). Both bad ass and worth buying.

Not much of an introduction but more from the Cigar portion of my life will at some point seep onto these pages.

Brewing Vault

Get ready because you may lose your breakfast/lunch/dinner on this one.

My "business partner" and I were on our third brew of our brewing portfolio, and decided that to be different we would brew a Kvass. This roughly translates to "ACID" and originates from Lithuania, Russia, Ukraine, and Poland. The base of this science experiment was to use a whole loaf or two of rye bread when brewing instead of the usual Malts.

The Kvass is then bottled in 2 liter coke bottles with a few raisins to know when it is ready to drink.
We follow all the directions precisely as usual, but something goes terribly wrong...
After our *counts on hands* probably sixth or seventh beer we are ready to toss the mixture into bottles to ferment.

Side Note: Kvass is also known as Russian peasant beer, because it is simple to brew using baking yeast and bread.

We say out loud (because we have to reassure each other that we are not being idiotic) "Hey, I bet Russian peasants didn't sanitize their bottle before they bottle... they're peasants!"

Another Side Note: Sanitation is probably the most important step in brewing... ever.

We should have bitten our tongues. After two weeks of bottle fermentation we cracked open a 2 liter bottle to enjoy our Kvass. 

What follows is something that could only come from the deepest depths of hell.

A fountain of foul rotten stank came from the bottle. It shot at least six feet into the air and left its sulfur and decaying organic matter odor burning in our noses. Being the brave or stupid person I am I consumed a glass of our rotten concoction to make myself feel better about wasting money. Besides a bit of dysentery the next day, we learned for the first time what CANNIBALISTIC YEAST tastes like.

Moral of the story?

NEVER SKIP SANITATION.

Home brews from the VAULT

As a starter, a basic understanding of brewing is necessary to follow the next post.

WARNING: The consumption of at least twenty-four beers may be necessary to fully understand what is being written.

Beer essentially has four main ingredients. Water, Malt, Hops, and our microscopic bacteria friends... Yeast.

When brewing beer, a simple recipe is all that is needed to actually know what you're doing. The creativity is where it gets exciting. Ingredients to the Nth degree are available for purchase from any of the fine scam artists... I mean websites or local stores that provide them.

Honestly though, there are some great websites out there that can give you a great number of choices to brew some seriously obscene beers.

Most simple brews will follow the exact same steps.


  • Boil water
  • Listen to angry music
  • Add Malts and Hops according to your recipe.
  • Cool
  • Add fill water to fill your fermentation tank.
  • Add yeast.
  • Cover and wait until your beer is ready to barrel taste and bottle.
Now to my story...

The future of the Blog

The future of Suds and Smokes is unclear at this point, and although there are many paths that one may travel... this blog is limited to only two. The path of Beer. The path of Cigars.

Not only will posts be relevant to news about both, it will also be your location to hear about simple tips for home brewing, drinking massive quantities of beer, and learning to not let your ash fall in your lap. No but seriously...

As a home brewer, my business partner and I will fill you in on any new brews we are working on and have done and can answer any questions on how it worked out for us.

As gen-u-ine beer drinkers we will post any fantastic brews that pop up on the market and should be noted as the best of the best, so you can all find them in your local booze hubs.

As an up and coming Cigar aficionado (total newbie) I will try to keep you updated on the progression of the staining and deterioration of my gums and teeth.

Thanks for reading and just imagine, with enough training, you could one day have a LIVER OF STEEL.