The joys of simplicity

It is well known among craft beer followers, that one of the most overdone beers in the USA (United States of America) is the IPA (India Pale Ale). Of course, IPA's are fun and exciting in a bitter sort of way, and I have absolutely no issue with them; However they do bring rise to what I consider a problem. 


If I had to guess, I would say that the common thought process for the many breweries that exist is, "We should create a totally bad ass amazing super strong ale!", which they end up doing. Nothing wrong with explosive flavor and getting drunk faster either... but with all of this taking place, beer "connoisseurs" are losing sight of the classic and deliciously refreshing simple beers that started it all!


My friends, i am speaking of the once powerful and overwhelmingly quenching lagers and pilsners!


Not only do I doubt that the ancient cultures who first created beer were trying to create something that would mentally attack even the most clever of minds and cause them to act in stupor (ex: Reinheitsgebot - the German Purity Law stating the only ingredients to be used were water, barley, yeast, and hops) but I am also speaking of the complexity that actually exists in such brews! 


I admit, that in the beginning of my beer drinking career, I thought that lagers and pilsners were weak and meaningless... but with the training I have undergone I now see that they are actually the essence of what is beer. So before you pass up another well made lager or pilsner remember where it came from, and the respect it deserves (even though you are about to consume it).


I just rubbed my eye with Ghost Chili hot sauce by accident, Cheers!

Bottle Conditioning

I discovered something new today about bottle conditioning. Out of our first pilsner I decided to keep one bottle in the fridge to cold condition. 


I had some company over and decided to crack it open to let my guests taste, and lo and behold it had absolutely no carbonation. I thought, "Shit, half the batch must not have gotten enough priming sugar." 


Turns out, if the yeast is not comfortable then it wont eat. So just to double check I tried one of the bottle that was room temp and it had a perfect *sshhhhhppp* sound when I opened it. After I finished sighing with relief that time and money were not wasted, I went out for a couple beers and cigars. No connection but it seemed fitting.


So here's the moral of the story... keep your yeast cultures happy or they will be stubborn little assholes. 


As for the recent poll, looks like a stout it is. Get ready for a stout that will not only blow your mind, but will completely make you rethink your entire existence. 

The ultimate beer cave

Thanks to Lee and Patti, the once dreary and almost repulsive office which was the red-headed stepchild we refused to acknowledge, is no more. With it's newest makeover our poor little office is now a suave, sexy and sophisticated place decorated with anything and everything booze. 


The walls now have the best of the best and most complete wall tin collection I can come by, as well as a small alcove for all my home-brewing shit.


 To go along with all this, our beer bikes, bass guitar, and of course... the computer.


So while I write you this, my precious little nurseries of yeast are playing about in the corner and pooping out alcohol. This will make for superb drinking. 


Prosit!


Photos will be posted to show off our new room soon.

Most amazing light beer EVER

In the past I had only had one Kolsch, St. Arnold's Lawnmower beer. It was tasty but nothing more to me than pretty much a lager. 

Recently however I made the discovery of quite possibly the most amazing summer beer on the planet. Sunner Kolsch has everything I could have ever wanted.

Ever open up a bottle of German lager and get smacked in the face by a big blast of stinky hops? Not always the best experience. This Kolsch seriously topped the charts in flavor, giving notes of grassy hops and a good crisp finish without all the skunky smells. 

Pretty much amazing. That's that. Drink this and let me know what you think... or pay the consequences... k thanks bye!

Completion of the 3 Pilsigo's

We have finally completed our trilogy of light and refreshing beers. It took us far longer than I had ever wanted but nonetheless we have done it! Now to wait. . . . . Before we drink them we need to let them condition in the bottles to fully experience and enjoy the crispness and flavor.

So in the meantime, we have to make sure that we don't lose ourselves in the boredom. Watching beer bottle condition is a long and boring process. We have been sitting and watching the first batch now for about a month. I think I am getting ass sores and really need a shower. Bugs seem to think I am a good place to hang out. 

YUM!

So as we wait we will think of all the things we could be doing, even though none are as important as watching bottle conditioning. Drinking is a big part of the ritual, and once again... if you stand even to use the restroom the Brew-God will send his minions to deal some serious shit to you. You will probably end up wishing you had never begun brewing in the first place.

Either way it is worth the trouble, so start your own home-brewing today!

These statements have not been approved by the FDA, are not at all fictional, have been known to cause side-effects such as heart failure, death, death, and night terrors, and are yours for only two-hundred-thousand small payments of $1,000,000.

Disassociated

What is beer? What is alcohol? It gives us a feeling of being relaxed even in the most dire of circumstances. It makes us feel at ease in groups of people when we are afraid of crowds. It gives us courage when faced with confrontation. I feel that alcohol is definitely used as a tool to coax us into doing things we feel we cannot do. It is a drug for those who cannot and will not face reality. It is a shame such a fantastic beverage with so much history is used in such foul ways. Beer is not a tool, it is a privilege to being alive, so relish it.

I enjoy the feeling that alcohol gives me, but most of all enjoy the depth of such creations. There is so much involved in a bottle of beer. 

So respect the beer... and respect yourself.

Barrel Tasting

After we have a beer that is ready to bottle, we like to taste it. We put a little in a glass and swirl it then taste it, almost like wine.

What this does for us is gives us the flavor profile for the backbone of our beer. For example, our two most recent pilsners were very much different.

One was quite hoppy with a lot of tropical fruits like lychee and mango, while the other had flavors of banana and sweet bread.

The beer is not carbonated at this time, which makes it kind of strange but in the end after it has been bottle conditioned and carbonated these flavors will be the undertones that you can pick up.

Also at this time, the beer (even though non-carbonated) is still alcoholic and will pack a punch. A while back I was left with a nice bit of the barrel left over and decided to just finish it off. WOO! Didn't plan for that one, but took it as it came!

Cigar Review: Gurkha Micro-Batch VH-7 Box Pressed Toro

When I first lit this cigar I was somewhat disappointed. It was very mild with some light sweet and spicy notes. However, my opinion quickly changed due to the overall evolution of the cigar. It has definitive stages as it burns down to the nub. The cigar itself is a blend of Nicaraguan and Honduran tobaccos with a slight touch of Dominican tobacco. The cigar starts out mild and then moves into medium and finishes medium-heavy. The earthy and spicy notes intensify and the mouth feel becomes heavier as the mocha and coffee grounds become more pronounced. The aroma is sweet and earthy and overall very elegant. This smoke draws with easy and burns well for a box press. The evolution of the smoke is what really sold me on this one. I felt like sitting and reading a book while sipping on some good Bourbon or pondering great subjects while I smoked this.

Aroma: 4/5

Taste: 5/5

Draw: 4.5/5

Intensity: 3.5 or 4/5

Overall Balance: 4.5/5

Drink with: Small batch bourbon, whiskey or rum based cocktails, good company or a good book.

Cigar Review: Camacho Candela Robusto

Interesting and slightly earthy with the absence of lots of spice. Very green and I mean more than just the wrapper. Almost forest-like and vegetal. The draw was somewhat difficult. I was also not a fan of the overall "green" flavors. They were overwhelming until the finish, which could be characterized by definite toasty flavors and harsh burning tobacco. My favorite part of the cigar was the aroma, which was rustically intense.

Aroma: 4/5

Taste: 2.5/5

Draw: 2.5/5

Intensity: 3.5/5

Overall Balance: 3/5

Drink with: Pilsners or dark lagers (think of a bock styled beer), bourbon or Tennesee whiskeys, blended scotches or a tawny port.

Cigar Review: Gurkha Empire Series I

This is the first of six reviews from the Gurkha Empire Series and after round one I'm excited. A true medium bodied cigar with great balance. Composed of Nicaraguan and Peruvian ligeros wrapped in a Honduran Maduro wrapper. Slightly sweet on the finish accented with slight earthiness, more leathery, like an old boot. Great bready mouth feel. You can almost chew the flavors. I ashed this cigar only twice and smoked it for a solid hour and a half. Super balanced as you can only find nuances of the flavors rather than overbearing characteristics.

Aroma: 4.5/5

Flavor: 5/5

Draw: 5/5

Intensity: 4/5

Overall Balance: 4.5/5

Drink with: Canadian blended whiskey, aged Irish whisky, small batch Bourbons, middle weight Scotches (think Glenfiddich 15 or MacAllan 18)

Cigar Review: J. Fuego Origen

I'll try not to be biased on this one. J. Fuego is one of my favorite makers, so I had to try this one when I saw it at the local cigar shop. This smoke is a limited edition that is filled with his signature Nicaraguan tobacco and wrapped with a Brazilian Corojo (we're seeing more of this from him see Capoeira Formado). This smoke is more mild than most of his stuff by far. It has reserved spice and earth tones, but has a great mouth feel with lots of mocha. This is definitely a sit back and chill out kind of cigar if you don't want to smoke something really heavy. I don't want the term mild to scare anyone away from this smoke. It's well constructed and very balanced and more elegant than his 777 line. However, for all of the J. Fuego white wrapper and Delirium smokers out there: this is mild in comparison.

Aroma: 3/5

Flavor: 3.5/5

Draw: 4/5

Overall Balance: 4/5

Drink with: Pilsners and lagers, light bodied Highland single malts, blended scotches or Canadian blended whiskey.

Cigar Review: Man O' War Ruination Belicoso

The cigar is a blend of Honduran long leaf ligeros and Nicaraguan Cuban seed aged tobacco with a ligero wrapper sourced from Ecuador, and once again of Cuban origin. This smoke is crafted like a Cuban. It is full of spice and dense earthy and leathery flavors. The aroma is a mixture of slight molasses sweetness and tar. It is intense, especially in the spice and aroma to say the least. It has a nice even draw and firm ash.

Aroma: 5/5

Flavor: 4/5

Draw: 4/5

Intensity: 5/5

Overall Balance: 4.5/5

Drink with: Isla of Islay or Low Lands single malt scotches, small batch Bourbons, Imperial Stouts, Porters or malt heavy dark beers.

Guerrilla Beerfare

The drinking of high ABV beers is something that is more and more common these days. With beers such as Brewdog Tokio (18.2 ABV) readily available for purchase (shortly followed by consumption), it is not unlikely that people will be drinking one beer a night. 

I had the chance to drink Tokio, but only had about a shot glass worth because in all honesty... I was not ready to end my tasting early! My first experience with extreme ABV beer however, was with the Dogfish Head 120 minute IPA while it was actually still available for purchase. 

I received this bottle as a gift and proceeded to drink it whilst playing a video game. It was incredibly smooth and had no ABV listed on the bottle. I drank it quite fast and then stood up for another beer, but realized soon after that I was actually buzzed pretty hard.

This may be something that some people look for in their beer, but I personally prefer to enjoy a plethora of beers before the night is over.

Therefore; I have coined the term Guerrilla Beerfare to explain what I consider the true form of drinking beer, and even the form that our ancestors used.

With average ABV's of around 5-6 percent, one can repeatedly attack their bodies with small forces of beer! Instead of instantly taking down your body's resistance and possibly ruining the whole night, slowly deliver... blow after blow... the 5-6 percent you need to enjoy other peoples company!

A toast to the Guerrilla in all of us!

The Essentials Revisited

Time to revisit the basic necessities of a fresh home-brewery. 


After reading, take a look at the Gold Complete Beer kit in the brewing equipment section of the amazon items on the left of the blog. The Home-brew kit listed there is an amazing deal, and the only thing you need to buy on your own is caps and a pot (as well as the ingredients).


Here are the very basics of what you most definitely need to start brewing (minus the ingredients, that's up to you to buy separately).

Sanitizing Solution

The first and most important step to brewing is Sanitizing. Never forget to sanitize and do it even if you just have tiny doubts. Sanitize everything the wort touches. A bleach solution can also work, but we have found out that this powder cuts a lot of steps out. If you do not sanitize, you may catch fire and become a small pile of ash... and your beer could spoil in a matter of weeks.

Fermentation Bucket

The fermentation bucket is where all the magic of yeast eating sugar and pooping out alcohol takes place. It is a wondrous experience, and smells fantastic if you stick your nose right up to it. You need a bucket or a glass carboy (I recommend a food-grade fermentation bucket for basic brews) and a bucket with a bottling spigot cuts the entire bottle racking step right out. Some think it is easier to use a siphon/racking tube to bottle, but why not save money if you can?

Airlock

You will then need an airlock. This allows you to monitor the fermentation through little bubbles of escaping gas.

Boiling Pot

The boiling pot is where you will brew your wort, the sugary delicious maltiness that the yeast so craves. You will need at least a three gallon pot to make your life easier.

Hydrometer

After the brewing is finished and your malts and hops are added to perfection, you will want a hydrometer to test the gravity of your beer. This will, after taking a first reading and final reading (after fermentation) tell you what your ABV will be. Not necessary but useful if you want to know how strong your beer is.

Bottling Mechanism

After all is said and done, you will need to bottle your beer, and this little booger is what attaches the caps to the bottle to prevent bad beer.

Your own personal Beer Daemon.

This is probably the second most important step (after sanitizing) to brewing, because if you do not have a Beer Daemon to make sure the yeast eats, then who will keep them in line? The Beer Daemon is there to control the yeast and make it create the most bad ass beer ever. So you have to get one. 

Other than all these essentials, you will need ingredients which include:

Malts

Hops     (All of your choosing)

Yeast

Bottles

Bottle Caps

And that is what makes beer. I do believe I covered everything but if I forgot anything let me know so I can fix it.

Music and Beer

Now, as common as it seems, parties all tend to have music playing. Whether it be some geeky techno music or the most popular musician at any given time, we are all drawn to music. No matter what we claim... we all have a soft spot for it... to the very depths of our souls.

This is a step further into the wide world of music and alcohol. We all have a party playlist we like to put on, and it could easily be something we created in iTunes, or it could be a station we like to tune in to. Either way we know what we like and like to drink the booze and jam out to.

I find that energetic music works best for me. It could be the most metal of music, or even the most fast paced... but either way I like energy when I am at a party (just like I enjoy Chinese violin music while I clean house).

Irish drinking songs are a seriously fun way to down a few with the boys and are proof that music and beer have a seriously strange way of bringing us all together.

So just think really hard next time you have friends over, or are drinking your evening beer (or cocktail) about the type of music that really gets you in the mood to relax and enjoy life!

And don't forget St. Patrick's day, because if you forget then St. Patti won't bless you... meaning nothing less than obliteration.

Escargot

For the first time today I enjoyed a plate of Escargot. It was not too bad, a bit rubbery and slimy with all the guts attached. Had to scoop em' out with a toothpick. Either way it was a cool experience! A little fishy tasting.

Just a thought however to go along with this small bit of information you might be able to live without knowing. I have been giving thought to food and beer pairings, and have found a couple that work really well.

1. Creamy Chicken Ramen noodles and Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.

2. Country style smoked ribs and Shiner Smokehaus.

3. Hot fudge Brownie topped with ice cream and Breckenridge Vanilla Porter or Young's Double Chocolate Stout.

4. Field Greens salad with raspberry walnut vinaigrette or balsamic vinegar salad and Lindeman's Framboise Lambic.

Now that I have had dead snails, I think that I would be able to say that probably an ESB of some sort would really accentuate the flavors... don't take my word for it though, and let me taste for poison first.

If you have any good food and beer pairing ideas let me know and I will try them out as the Guinea Pig.

That's right, I will actually put my life on the line to give you answers! (Pssshhttt!) 

Adventures in Beerland Vol. 2

I once heard of a little creature named Bier. It was an odd fellow that always babbled about the strangest things. One of it's favorite topics of one-sided discussion was the fabled Heart Crystal that was rumored to grant the finder true love.


One day while hanging out in the sun with it's buddy, it decided it had enough laying around and decided to search for the Heart Crystal that very moment!

Bier and Friend

Bier had only traveled about thirty feet (which is a long distance for something so small!) when it stumbled upon a frightening pile of animal bones! 

Scary Bones!

Bier jumped with fear so high that not even a bird could touch the poor creature! After a moment of weightlessness, Bier began to fall... fast...

Bier almost touching OUTER SPACE!

Luckily for Bier, there was miraculously water to break the fall from above the clouds. Any normal creature would die from this, but Bier was made of liquid! After catching sight of something glowing, Bier thought, "Maybe it's the Heart Crystal! I will find true love after all!", but it was not the crystal at all... it was a group of JELLYFISH!

Caught by Jellyfish!

Bier freaked out and began swimming as fast as possible so as not to be stung, when a sea turtle came to the rescue. Bier jumped on and they fled the chaotic scene.

Bier riding a Sea Turtle.

The turtle stopped to drop Bier off and said, "I know not what you seek fellow, but good luck on your journey!" Little did the turtle know, it had dropped Bier off very close to it's destination.

A sunken Magical Ship.

With all of it's exhausted self, Bier began to swim, when it felt something hit it's base...

It was... It was...

THE HEART CRYSTAL!

Suddenly out of nowhere, while I, Ian Knox was sitting and enjoying a movie... BIER appeared before me! Bier found true love at last!

True Story.

Frozen

Inspired by the water falling from the sky tonight, I guess...

Either way, right now it is 28° outside, and slightly drizzling. This means frozen everything tomorrow morning!

A bit of a beer myth, there was once a batch of Bock beer in Germany that was forgotten in the icy environment. By morning the casks of Bock had frozen and burst open. The brew-masters noticed in the center of the casks was a part still liquid. Tasting brought about amazement! The liquid part in the center was the alcohol not frozen at all, but condensed and tastier than ever!

Hence came about the Eisbock. By freezing out water in the beer, the left over result is an immensely flavorful beer with high ABV (alcohol by volume).

I have heard, however, that the techniques it takes to actually freeze distill something in this manner can cause a negative effect that can easily blind if not kill a person. 

SO DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MAKE AN ICE BEER.

Or do, then see what happens... that could be exciting. 

Skål

                                 

At this point I salute the ancients for their vast knowledge (drinking abilities) and their ways of life (devastation, pillaging, murder).


The Vikings were a fierce people to whom Ales were an important part of their being. They would demolish their enemies while drinking, drink afterwards to celebrate, then drink the next morning to celebrate their celebration! Bad ass pirates.


A violent, utterly f*cked up way to live, that left behind some absolutely bad ass stories. Although mythology is never complete truth as far as we know, if it was all made up... the person who wrote it had to be drunk.


Skål to those who died on the battlefield, 
and to those who stayed behind to write their 
legends!


mjöður ok hefnd - Mead and Vengeance          
hefnd ok ánægja - Vengeance and Pleasure


Signed,

    

Thank you http://www.vikingrune.com/ for having such a useful and interesting blog!

The Budweiser Select 55 Challenge!

Hey everybody! I have a fantastic idea!


Let's all drink Budweiser Select 55 from now on because it has lower calories and still is full of flavor! DON'T MIND THE FLAVOR BEING FECES!


Seriously though here's something you may not know. When you sacrifice calories in a beer, especially a domestic big name brand (Bud Select 55, MGD 64, etc) you are also sacrificing alcohol content. 


You may think you are being good to yourself, but if your end-goal is to get a buzz, it won't happen by cutting calories. 


I decided to take the challenge, bought an 18 pack of Bud Select 55 cans, and just starting drinking. To not be completely useless I barbecued some pork flanks while I was at it. 


The results were as follows:

1 Select 55 - Felt full
2 Select 55's - Started feeling it enter my bladder
3 Select 55's - Emptied my bladder
4 Select 55's - Felt full again
5 Select 55's - Ignored the pain that my belt was causing and kept drinking.
6 Select 55's - Felt something that seemed almost like a beer buzz.
7 Select 55's - Went pee again and lost the buzz.
8 Select 55's - Breakthrough! An actual miniature buzz!

By this time however I was so full of light beer that I thought i was going to vomit.


So unless you  have a VERY low alcohol tolerance, or just want to drink beer to clean your kidneys, Select 55 may not be for you.